Senin, 21 April 2014

Ada sesak mengganjal di dada

Aku duduk merunduk menatap pada secarik kertas yg menggelepar - gelepar di terpa angin senja ...
apakah ini adalah tanda kesetiaanku pada waktu ..
ada sesak di dada sebongkah mimpiku tak juga nyata
Hati ini terlalu lelah .. lelah menampung keluhan pada jaman dimana kecemasan di kekalkan
Harapan harapan itu bergayut sedari bertahun lalu...harapan-harapan penuh tapi kosong seperti bicara pada angin dia mungkin mendengar tapi tetap tak bergeming memberiku jawaban..
tidak .. aku tak mampu menatap langitku bagaimana tidak aku hanya akan mengajukan sebuah harapan lagi ketika ku tengadah menatapnya
perjalanan hidupku dengan sebuah mimpi dan seribu harapan yang ku kemas rapi seiring lantunan doa ketika malam menjelang berbalut sepi .. kapan berakhirnya mimpi selama kita msh ttp tertidur
kaan betakhirnya harapan selama kita tak hentinya berdoa ????

Sabtu, 12 April 2014

it just poam yeah a poam

I HATE being patient, but I’ve got more of it than anyone else I know
I HATE having to put my self aside for something else, 
but I care enough to do it
I find myself filled with a lot of that lately... this… Hate… 
It sounds so weird to say it out loud… Hate…. It doesn’t have a nice feeling.
I HATE- 
It’s just not me.
It’s not how I want to be. 
It doesn’t sound right coming out of my mouth. 
It doesn’t sound right swirling through my head
why is it that I find myself constantly forcing that word out of my head.
I hate that…
there it is again,
lately It creeps up on me.
I know what causes it. I’m tired. 
I’m tired of being patient and putting myself second for you
I hate you
I don’t hate you. 
I hate the power you seem to have over me
I hate that I can’t hate you.
I feel helpless, 
The words echo through my head. They echo through the room.
This room.
I hate this room.
 the room in my head.
once my sanctuary. – now my enemy.
I hate this room.
I’m forced to sit in this damp windowless room. 
there is no way out. Not yet anyways. 
I have to wait.
wait - And be patient wait wait
wait for u